Longings and Desires

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.  C.S. Lewis

Photo by Louchiere Matthews (used with permission).

The dictionary defines longing as: "a strong desire especially for something unattainable or distant: for example, to be filled with longing for home." Most of us have certain longings in common...longings such as a desire to love and be loved; a desire for companionship; a desire to live...REALLY live and experience life and not simply exist, a desire to be happy and filled with joy, a desire that our life and the lives of those we love not be snuffed out by death. Where do these longings come from? But there is another part of the definition that doesn't sound so good, that is "something unattainable or distant". Why do our longings for good things so often seem  unattainable? Why is there a general sense of predicament, of something having gone wrong?

C.S. Lewis, a prominent academic scholar and Christian writer, was an avowed atheist until the age of 32. He was influenced by, among others, a fellow scholar and friend named J.R.R. Tolkien (author of Lord of the Rings trilogy) who explained his belief that the longings and desires of man (such as those mentioned above) are implanted by his Creator. Tolkien also explained that the story of the Gospel, which he believed was true, begins and ends in joy. Namely, the Birth and Resurrection of Christ. For those of you not familiar with the story of the Gospel, it tells the "good news" of the Incarnation (Christ as both fully God and fully human). Although there were plenty of hardships in the life of Christ, in the end He defeated one of our greatest enemies...death. IF this is true (which I and countless others believe it is), then it offers profound hope that there can be a happy ending to our story too, and that our deepest longings will one day be fulfilled!

We are now in the Easter season 2011. I challenge you to take 5 minutes and read and consider the first 10 verses in the 28th chapter of Matthew in the Bible, which is the stunning story of the Resurrection of Christ on the third day after his torture and death. See whether this brings a tingle of hope and joy simply at the prospect that it may be true. I cannot even begin to describe the incredible joy I feel when I read this story! Truly, the Gospel is the source of my finding meaning and purpose, not only at the university, but in my life!

Do I Really Matter?

Biology class took away the wonder I had about our world by implying it all came about by accident. If that is true, there is no purpose for our lives.

Early in my university experience I began to struggle with a sense that nothing really mattered. In biology and other classes I learned that by coincidence, conditions on Earth just happened to be right for life to begin, that lightning happened to hit the "primordial soup", and consequently, life happened to begin (or something like that). Apparently, even though the chances of life beginning here were infinitesimally small, it was likely to happen somewhere because of the vastness of the universe. Oh, by the way, the vastness of the universe also provided evidence that the Earth, and consequently humanity (which included me), was very small in the big scheme of things. In other words, there was a sense that in the end, neither I nor anybody else really mattered. How could we? We rose by accident out of the primordial soup, live for awhile and then we die. End of story.

This all was taught as fact in biology class. What I wasn't taught was that this is really just a secular "worldview", which really has serious issues of its own (more that in later posts, such as Science and Christianity, Leap of Faith, Decline of the Secular University). In a sense, I was betrayed by putting my trust in the secular university to teach me about our fascinating world.

When I was young I marveled at the beauty and complexity of this incredible universe and the life it contained. I was excited and wanted to learn more about it...to explore it! I believed in God but somehow that didn't overcome the underlying sense of futility that seemed present in science classes. I knew vaguely that some of the great scientists like Newton, Galileo, and Pascal were men of faith, but even that was explained away by reasoning that they lived in older times and therefore, were naive because they hadn't been exposed to more recent scientific discoveries (like Darwin's explanation about the origins of species). Archeologists also reported that the ancients invented gods in attempts to find meaning and purpose in their lives, which implied that ANY belief in God was a figment of our imaginations. In essence, it seemed science taught that for one to believe in God was akin to believing in a fairy tale.

It is not my purpose here to diss on the university. After all, I enjoy working there now! I am only telling my story about how I struggled at the university to find meaning and purpose because of what was being taught or implied in the science classes I took. Suffice it to say that I am glad that I didn't give in to despair. There was more to my story, but that is for another day. What about yours? Does any of this seem familiar or am I an anomaly (okay, I may be an anomaly in some ways but surely others have felt SOME of the things I have???)