New Year's Resolutions...Again?!

Happy New Year!! This is a time when many examine and perhaps try to tweak the direction of their lives through resolutions. For example, "I am going to lose weight, eat more healthy, exercise, improve my time management skills"

I think it is good to evaluate your life, your strengths, weaknesses, desires, and to set goals accordingly. However, on our own strength we can do only so much. I submit that for too long we have been drinking the kool-aid of humanism...the belief that we can lead lives of "personal fulfillment" without the supernatural (i.e., without God). Speaking for myself, my self-imposed and self-enacted "resolutions" generally fade with time. Under the pressures of everyday life I tend to slip back into old habits. It was probably frustration over such failures that led to the statement "My new year's resolution is not to make any resolutions!"

What if instead of making a list of resolutions you sought vision for your life? Something that resonated deep within you, that you knew to be from beyond yourself, and perhaps even for which you were created? Vision that gave your life greater direction, purpose, and meaning? Wouldn't that be worth pursuing? I can attest that such a thing is possible, I have experienced it. So has my wife. As have countless other Christians. My prayer is that you too would too, even though yours would certainly be unique to you. I would like to stimulate you to pursue such vision this year!

The source of my finding such meaning, purpose, and vision has been from my faith in Jesus Christ. Christianity teaches that our Creator has good plans for us, plans to give us hope and a future (1). Jesus himself taught us to "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need" (2). The Psalmist (David) exclaimed "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart" (3). The point is, God wants us to pursue him and the result will be an increase in his vision for our lives, which he prepared for us even before we were born (4)! Why settle for less than learning about your calling, discovering the deepest desires of your heart, living with the hope that there is a bigger picture out there and you get to play a special and unique part in it? Wow!

C.S. Lewis said "...if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased" (5).

To encourage you to accept this challenge for the new year, here is an exciting promise from God: "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland" (6). Do you want a fabulous "resolution" for 2012 (or any year, month, or day for that matter!)? Let God do this for you! It is possible and available to anyone who asks him.

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Footnotes:

Immanuel - God with Us

"The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" (which means "God with us") (1).

God with us. What does this mean?

Christians believe that Jesus came ~2000 years ago as "God in the flesh" and walked among us for about 33 years. Christians also believe that through his Holy Spirit, which came after Christ's resurrection and ascension into heaven, God can reside in our hearts if we allow him (2,3,4). When I was a child, probably the closest I came to feeling God's presence was during Christmas eve services when all the lights were turned off and everyone held a candle while we sang Silent Night. Unfortunately, as soon as I returned to "regular", everyday life, somehow God seemed distant again.

In our world, we recently passed the milepost of seven billion people now alive. Given these multitudes, it is easy to feel small and insignificant. Is it possible that in this massive sea of humanity, God really notices me personally? Sometimes it almost does not seem possible, which can lead to despair. I have felt that despair at such thoughts and doubt I am the only one who has.

Still, there was a promise given us that the coming of Immanuel is meant to be deeply personal, and I believe to the point of being connected with the deepest yearnings of our hearts. God knows you, he came for you on Christmas, and he continues to come for you (5,6). I am reading Henri Nouwen's book Life of the Beloved, who wrote that the words "You are my Beloved" reveal the most intimate truth about God's inclination towards each of us. Nouwen's point is that YOU are treasured, precious, cherished, prized, and loved. YOU matter to God, YOU are adored, he treasures your uniqueness. (7,8,9,10). And you need to know this deep down in your heart because it is core to your identity, foundational to your life.

Especially when we usually hear the opposite from the world around us, things such as "you are not special", "you are worthless", "you fall short", "you are ugly", "the world would have been better if I had never been born", etc. These lies can lead to crippling diminishment and self-rejection. Nouwen warns that in the face of these accusations we must dare to reclaim the truth that we are cherished by God. Nouwen wrote: "The truth, even though we cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God's eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity, and held safe in an everlasting embrace." Christmas demonstrates this (see also my last post "Invasion at Bethlehem").

So, Merry Christmas! And I urge you to not limit your thoughts about Christmas to shopping, packages, parties, listening to holiday music, or even to families and friends or to a stable in Bethlehem 2000 years ago (though those are all good things). Think about the glory and beauty of God's coming for you. You can know and experience his presence in your own personal life if you so choose, and that is very good news indeed!
                                                                                        

Footnotes:

Invasion at Bethlehem

"Christmas is the most stunning rescue story of all time. Under cover of night, in a remote village in Palestine, in a world held captive by the dark prince, God comes to earth as a human being, a little boy. He invades the human race in order to rescue the human race...The beauty of the act cannot be adequately expressed."  John Eldredge

"God has too much on his mind and is way too busy maintaining this huge universe to be concerned about me and my problems!", a friend once told me. Undoubtedly my friend isn't the only person in the world who has felt this way.

Christmas is the perfect time to ponder this. After all, what is Christmas and what does it say about God and what he thinks about us? The next couple of blog posts will be dedicated to this.

In "The Return of the King" (Lord of the Rings), Aragorn takes his

rightful place on the throne of Gondor. This is symbolic of Christ,

who is the King of kings and will one day return in this role

(Revelation 17:14) (5).

To me, Christmas demonstrates an intentionality in God's love...of God's "coming for us." At Bethlehem, God through Jesus "personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all" (1). But his birth was opposed. Recall that after Jesus' birth, King Herod killed all the baby boys who were 2 years old or younger in Bethlehem in an attempt to kill the prophesied King Jesus (2). Revelation 12 presents a fascinating description of the tumultuous events surrounding the birth of Christ, and offers an alternative perspective from the peaceful nativity scenes we typically see at Christmastime. To paraphrase C.S. Lewis, Christmas represents an invasion into enemy-occupied territory (the world) by the rightful king (Jesus) (3), who came to cast out the evil "ruler of this world" (4). Spiritually speaking, this is no silent night. It is D-Day. God came to rescue us! (See my earlier post The Great Rescue).

This is good news, and is the meaning behind the words "A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices" in the Christmas song "Oh Holy Night"!

So Jesus came to "set right" humanity (yeah!), but humanity is mighty large. And a single person can get lost or feel very small or insignificant among 7 billion people. But be encouraged, the Gospel really is good news and by its very nature is personal and intimate! Let's look at that side of Christmas with the next blog post. Stay tuned...(see post "Immanuel - God With Us").

                                                                                                            
Footnotes:

Beautiful Outlaw: My Review AFTER Reading the Book!

Jesus was accused of breaking the law, keeping bad company, heavy drinking, being the devil himself. But those who knew him best loved him passionately.

 
In an earlier post I excitedly told you about the book "Beautiful Outlaw" by John Eldredge even though I had only read one chapter. Hmmm, nobody commented that they thought that was strange, unfair, or highly illogical. If I had read my own blog I probably would have blasted myself for being so rash (actually I do read my own blog and sometimes it seems a lonely feeling!). Nevertheless, I felt I owed you a post-reading review of the book. In fact, this is the VERY FIRST book review I've written for Amazon.com ever! Apparently it takes 48 hours for Amazon to process my review before it is posted, so I thought I would give you a special treat and let you see it first (okay, you can stop the applause now)! It is possible that Amazon may reject my review though, so if that happens you will will be among the privileged few who get to read it. So, without further ado...

Click on the picture to go to the Ransomed Heart
website and learn more about the book and video.

Must Read!! (Five stars out of five)

This refreshing book reveals significant aspects of Jesus' personality that have been largely neglected by the church in my lifetime (I'm 52 and grew up in the church). In fact, John Eldredge takes on the "religious fog" that has typically resulted in perceptions of a "lofty" Jesus doing strange, undecipherable things. Take playfulness, for example. When Eldredge first mentioned that Jesus has a playful, humorous side I was skeptical. But this book is convincing. From chipmunks frolicking about to our own bantering and laughing with friends, where else would we think something this good comes from (after all, who created chipmunks, laughter, and us?). But humor isn't the only missing aspect of Jesus' personality tackled here. Jesus had a fierce intention...did you realize that Jesus deliberately took the time at the temple to make his whip from cords before he drove the money changers out of the temple? Jesus was more human than any of us, honest, cunning, and much, much more. If you are a believer, you will fall in love with Jesus all over again. If you are not a believer, this book is for you too; you may find yourself attracted to this beautiful outlaw who was constantly in trouble with the religious leaders of his day. Late in the book is a very good discussion about the practical accessibility of Jesus; that any of us can connect relationally with him and experience his presence and wonderful traits in our own lives. This is a fabulous book, perhaps even surpassing Eldredge's earlier books "Wild at Heart" and "Waking the Dead", and I highly recommend it.

Was this review helpful to you? Feel free to respond in the comments...unless of course you don't like it (only joking...Jesus was honest, so I want you to be too!).

The Red Pill or the Blue Pill?

The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. Galadriel, Lord of the Rings. 

Paradise lost. Do you feel it? A sense that something in the world has been lost and that things are not as they should be. Why do terrible things happen such as human trafficking, genocide, rape, or murder, to name a few?

What about in your own life? Do you sense something has been lost or perhaps taken from you? I'm not just talking about someone beating you out of the last parking place at the mall. Perhaps you have been abused or wounded, either physically or emotionally, or you have lost loved ones, etc.

So what is really going on in the world and in our lives? Do you ever wonder? Is there any way to find out? As it turns out, the Scriptures are surprisingly clear about it. If you are a person who asks these deep questions, there really is a way to know more. The only requirement is that you really have to want to know, for the Word of God promises that those who seek will find (1).

An excellent analogy to this comes from the movie "The Matrix". If you have seen it you probably recall the scene where the main character Neo (Keanu Reeves) is offered a choice between a red pill and a blue pill (you can Google it and watch it on youtube if you like). If Neo takes the red pill he learns the truth about the matrix, which permeates the world around him but is really only an illusion. In the movie, the matrix is like a veil pulled over everyone's eyes to hide the fact that they were all born into bondage. By taking the red pill he can learn the truth about and escape the prison of the matrix. Conversely, if Neo takes the blue pill he can remain and live in the deluded world of the matrix, totally ignorant of the truth that something is terribly wrong. I'll let you watch the movie if you want to know more!  :)

This concept is really quite a stunning analogy to the spiritual world as described in the Word of God. Part of the purpose of this post is to encourage you to "take the red pill", so to speak, to begin to learn more about the nature of the world around us as taught through the Scriptures. Paradise really has been lost (2). We are all born into bondage (3, 4). Things unseen really are more important than things seen (5). Freedom and redemption are available (6, 7), all weeping will one day cease and death will be destroyed (8). And those who choose redemption will receive treasure in this life (9) and one day will take their place in paradise restored (10). Don't misunderstand, there are some things we will never understand this side of heaven, including some of our sufferings. But a little clarity now would do us wonders as we face the trials of everyday life.

A good summary of this can be found in the book Epic, by John Eldredge, which is a short 104 page read that gives a bird's eye view of these things. If you click the link here and scroll down the page, there is even a brief overview of the book. It is worth spending a couple of minutes to read!

                                                                                                 

Footnotes:

Scientists Who Believe in God

In this short interview (<4 min) Dr Francis Collins (Director, National Human Genome Research Institute) explains why he believes in a personal God and how his faith is compatible with science. For a brief article about Dr. Francis Collin's road to faith, see Why this scientist believes in God.

Given the apparent "rift" between science and faith in God in our modern world, it is perhaps surprising to learn that many famous scientists of the past had a deep faith in God! Many of today's scientists do too although you may not often hear about them. And like believing scientists before them (see a partial list below), they don't see a conflict between Christianity and science. Dr. Collins in the youtube video above is one example.

This topic is one I hope to visit time and again, but today I simply want to list a few scientists whom you may have heard of who were devout Christians:

1. Nicholas Copernicus (1473-1543): Polish astronomer who put forward the first mathematically based system of planets going around the sun.
2. Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1627): Philosopher known for establishing the scientific method of inquiry based on experimentation and inductive reasoning.
3. Johannes Kepler (1571-1630): Brilliant mathematician and astronomer. He did early work on light, and established the laws of planetary motion about the sun.
4. Galileo Galilei (1564-1642): Galileo's troubles with the established church are famous, but his problem was with the institutionalized church, not Christianity. His controversial work on the solar system was published in 1633.
5. Rene Descartes (1596-1650): French mathematician, scientist and philosopher who has been called the father of modern philosophy.
6. Blaise Pascal (1623-1662): French mathematician, physicist, inventor, writer, and philosopher.
7. Isaac Newton (1642-1727): In optics, mechanics, and mathematics, Newton was a figure of undisputed genius and innovation.
8. Robert Boyle (1791-1867): One of the founders and key early members of the Royal Society, Boyle gave his name to "Boyle's Law" for gases, and also wrote an important work on chemistry.
9. Michael Faraday (1791-1867): The son of a blacksmith who became one of the greatest scientists of the 19th century. His work on electricity and magnetism not only revolutionized physics, but led to much of our lifestyles today, which depends on them (including computers and telephone lines and, so, web sites).
10. Gregor Mendel (1822-1884): The first to lay the mathematical foundations of genetics, in what came to be called "Mendelianism".
11. William Thomson Kelvin (1824-1907): Kelvin was foremost among the small group of British scientists who helped to lay the foundations of modern physics.

LIFE and death

The immortality of the soul is something of such vital importance to us, affecting us so deeply, that one must have lost all feeling not to care about knowing the facts of the matter"  Blaise Pascal

Me in the cockpit of a Piper Pawnee C, which I flew during
the summer of 1980 to apply pesticides to crops and pastures
near Scotia, Nebraska where I grew up.

My tension was rising as I powered my Piper Pawnee airplane down the short runway. I had been crop dusting all summer at my small-town airport but somehow this takeoff seemed different. The plane was fully loaded, sluggish, and had already passed the "point of no return" (where the airplane was moving too fast to safely stop even if I throttled back and applied brakes). The plane didn't seem to want to lift off, and the end of the runway was rapidly approaching. Immediately beyond was a county road with ditches on both sides and a barbed wire fence and tall corn field just beyond that. I knew the airplane wouldn't fare too well if I couldn't lift off by the time I got there, but worse, I knew I wouldn't fare too well either. By the time I got to the end of the runway the plane was still on the ground.That was not how I had planned for that day to go.

Does God Speak to Us Individually?

Can we really hear God? Walk with Him? Develop conversational intimacy with Him?

Certainly there is evidence of this in the Scriptures, starting at the beginning in Eden when God walked in the cool of the day and spoke with Adam and Eve (1). God also spoke with the prophets in the Old Testament such as to Elijah after he called down fire from heaven to burn a sacrifice placed on the alter (2), and afterwards when Elijah feared for his life because Jezebel sought to kill him (3). And lest we think that God only spoke with Elijah because he held the special role of being a prophet, James reminds us in the New Testament that Elijah was a person just like we are (4). There are other examples in the Scriptures of God speaking with people - Moses, David, Paul, Peter, and Jesus Christ himself. Dallas Willard in his book "Hearing God" makes the point that these events recorded in the Bible teach us the vital lesson that: Our humanity will not by itself prevent us from knowing and interacting with God just as they did (5).

Andes Mountains near Portillo Ski Area, northeast of
Santiago, Chile. I visited this beautiful place in July 2009.

Iranian Christian Sentenced to Death for Apostasy

This Iranian, 32 year old Youcef Nadarkhani (left), has been sentenced to execution by hanging in Iran. His crime is apostasy, or converting from Islam to Christianity. He is also a Pastor and has been baptizing people into the Christian faith. (By the way, Christianity is exploding under the repressive Islamic regime in Iran). Youcef Nadarkhani has been given multiple opportunities by Iranian courts to recant his faith but he repeatedly refuses, even under the threat of death.

This begs the question as to why he won't recant his faith under such pressure (did I mention he has been in prison since 2009?). Youcef is not a terrorist, murderer, rapist, or serial killer. He is a husband and father (see photo below) and is also following Christ's command to make disciples of all nations (1). This man truly has conviction about his faith.

If you are a Christian, have you experienced enough in your faith to make you that resilient? I have to ask myself as a Christian, would I deny my faith under such duress? I hope not. This man Youcef truly understands the "cost" of following Christ (2) and may pay with his life, as have many others before him (including in Iran), for not denying his love for and devotion to Jesus.

If you are not a Christian, doesn't this make you wonder what it is about Christianity that someone would endure such prolonged suffering for their faith? It has to be more than the "going through the motions" Sunday church services that many of us have experienced. As a Christian, I can tell you why. Experiencing a connection with Jesus Christ is the most powerful experience I can describe. He is 100% good, His love is 100% pure, and when we accept him, his Spirit pours His life into ours and takes away the weight of our wrongdoings, our "sin", and clears our consciences. He sets us free and opens new doors for us to live our life in communion with him.

Youcef Nadarkhani with his family.

Sound farfetched? Maybe so. But Youcef Nadarkhani doesn't think so. He has experienced Christ's love and has never looked back. I have experienced that love too, and the deep healing and restoration that it brings. Whether you are a Christian who hasn't experienced this or are not a Christian, it truly is available to everyone. You only need to want it, seek it, and accept it.

Under international pressure, Iranian courts have delayed the sentence and referred his case to Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. So there is still hope that his life will be spared and that he will be released from prison. Either way, please say a prayer for Youcef Nadarkhani if you would. If you would like to do more, this website has information on how to get involved: http://aclj.org/iran/americans-support-pastor-youcef-overwhelming.

Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. Hebrews 13:3.

(1) Matthew 28:18-20; (2) Matthew 16:24-26.

Whispers of God from Hawaii

Jannis and I at Laupahoehoe Harbor.
The ocean is very wild and untamed here.

Recently my wife and I were in Hawaii, on the big island, a place filled with beauty and reminders of God's creation. Here are a few pictures from there, along with some inspirational words from the Bible.

A green sand beach (which is rare) at the very secluded
Mahana Bay. Green is caused by the mineral olivine.

 



The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it,
  the world, and all who live in it;
for he founded it on the seas
   and established it on the waters. (Psalm 24:1-2)

This was at the Hawaii Tropical Botanical Gardens.
Not sure what kind of flower (or whatever!) it is

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? (Matthew 6:28-30)

The Waipio Valley. The beach is black sand, caused
by lava being slowly pulverized by the ocean.

 [The LORD] set the earth on its foundations;
 it can never be moved.
You covered it with the watery depths as with a garment;
 the waters stood above the mountains.
But at your rebuke the waters fled,
 at the sound of your thunder they took to flight;
they flowed over the mountains,
 they went down into the valleys,
 to the place you assigned for them.
You set a boundary they cannot cross;
  never again will they cover the earth.(Psalm 104:5-9)

Akaka Falls, 442 feet tall!

...praise the name of God—
      it's the only Name worth praising.
   His radiance exceeds anything in earth and sky
(Psalm 148:13).

Secluded beach at Waialea Bay.

 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made...(Romans 1:20)



 

Lava covering road at end of Chain of Craters
Road in Volcanoes National Park.

God is our refuge and strength,
   an ever-present help in trouble.
 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,   though its waters roar and foam

   and the mountains quake with their surging. (Psalm 46:1-3).

Beautiful Outlaw

Click on the picture to go to the Ransomed Heart
website and learn more about the book.

I know, the title of this post sounds like an oxymoron. Perhaps it is, but maybe not in the sense you think. The title "Beautiful Outlaw" refers to Jesus Christ. But was Jesus really an outlaw? He most definitely was in the eyes of...try to guess who!

In Jesus' day, much as in our own, the religious establishment had by-and-large distorted the true picture of who God was and what he was really like. The message was lost about God's love, goodness, mercy, etc. The religious leaders had burdened their followers with petty laws and endless duties to the point where life was filled with heaviness and despair. Into this scene stepped Jesus, who was not happy with what the religious leaders were doing in God's name. During Jesus' brief lifetime (~33 years) he repeatedly went into the Jewish temple and intentionally provoked the religious leaders by (gasp) healing peoples' ailments (for example, blindness, deafness, crippling diseases) on the Sabbath Day. Read here about one brief example (Mark 3:1-6); there are many more. The problem was that religious rules forbade anybody from working on the Sabbath, and Jesus was breaking that rule by healing people (i.e., "working"). And the religious leaders were furious at him for doing this, so much so that they started plotting to murder him.

What do you think of when you think about Jesus? Do you think "televangelists"? Irrelevant? Boring? Religious? Perhaps you've had a bad experience at church and you naturally affiliate it with Jesus.

The first chapter of the book "Beautiful Outlaw" is entitled "The Playfulness of God and the Poison of Religion". Unfortunately, even today religion often presents a distorted picture of who Jesus really is (Disclaimer: Please don't think I'm passing judgement on every church). And that is tragic because it turns people away from a person who is truly remarkable, beautiful, and definitely worth knowing. Beautiful Outlaw is designed to introduce you to Jesus as he really is. He is many good things, but he is anything but religious.

I have read the first chapter of Beautiful Outlaw so far (the entire book will be released on October 5) but am excited about reading the rest of the book. I have read all of the books that John Eldredge, the author has written and I have no doubt that this one could be a life changer. I encourage you to check it out, though, with a warning that your life may never be the same if you give it a fair shake!

Emphasis of America’s Founding Fathers on God

I spent this week in Washington D.C. and had time to visit some of the sites including the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials and the Washington Monument. I was encouraged to be reminded of the faith that our founding fathers had in God as they started a new country called America. Here are some excerpts from quotes that are engraved in stone at the Jefferson Memorial (Thomas Jefferson was the 3rd U.S. President and drafter and signer of the Declaration of Independence):

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. (Declaration of Independence)

Almighty God hath created the mind free. All attempts to influence it by temporal punishments or burthens [burdens]...are a departure from the plan of the Holy Author of our religion...

God who gave us life gave us liberty. Can the liberties of a nation be secure when we have removed a conviction that these liberties are the gift of God?

(Dale speaking here…) Seeing Jefferson’s references to God prompted me to dig a little deeper into quotes from some of our other founding fathers and I thought I would share a few with you:

George Washington (1st U.S. President; excerpt from ‘Letter to the Governors of the States on Disbanding the Army’, June, 1783):

I now make it my earnest prayer that God would have you, and the State over which you preside, in his holy protection; that he would incline the hearts of the citizens to cultivate a spirit of subordination and obedience to government, to entertain a brotherly affection and love for one another, for their fellow-citizens of the United States at large, and particularly for brethren who have served in the field; and finally that he would most graciously be pleased to dispose us all to do justice, to love mercy, and to demean ourselves with that charity, humility, and pacific temper of mind, which were the characteristics of the Divine Author of our blessed religion, and without an humble imitation of whose example in these things, we can never hope to be a happy nation.

John Adams: (2nd U.S. President and Signer of the Declaration of Independence; excerpt from ‘Diary and Autobiography of John Adams’, Vol. III, p. 9)

Suppose a nation in some distant Region should take the Bible for their only law Book, and every member should regulate his conduct by the precepts there exhibited! Every member would be obliged in conscience, to temperance, frugality, and industry; to justice, kindness, and charity towards his fellow men; and to piety, love, and reverence toward Almighty God ... What a Eutopia, what a Paradise would this region be.

John Hancock (1st Signer of the Declaration of Independence; excerpt from a proclama­tion signed by John Hancock set May 17, 1776; www.johnhancock.org):

The [Continental] Congress…do earnestly recommend…a day of humiliation, fasting and prayer [throughout the colonies]; that we may, with united hearts, confess and bewail our manifold sins and transgressions, and by a sincere repentance and amendment of life, appease his [God's] righteous displeasure, and through the merits and mediation of Jesus Christ, obtain his pardon and forgiveness."

John Witherspoon: (Signer of the Declaration of Independence, Clergyman and President of Princeton University; excerpt from Sermon at Princeton University, "The Dominion of Providence over the Passions of Men," May, 1776)

While we give praise to God, the Supreme Disposer of all events, for His interposition on our behalf, let us guard against the dangerous error of trusting in, or boasting of, an arm of flesh.... If your cause is just, if your principles are pure, and if your conduct is prudent, you need not fear the multitude of opposing hosts.

(Dale speaking again…). The founders of America were, by and large, a profoundly religious people. If you live in America and enjoy the fruits of liberty and freedom, then in no small way you have them to thank. I also visited Arlington National Cemetery this week, which vividly illustrates the “last full measure” that so many have paid to maintain our free way of life. And I visited the 911 Memorial at the Pentagon, which painfully illustrates that there are those who would destroy the freedoms we enjoy; who would steal, kill, and destroy in order to bring tyranny over our lives.

My visit to Washington D.C. powerfully reminded me of the legacy that our founders and subsequent generations have left for us. My prayer is that my generation, and yours, will defend that freedom and pass it on intact to the next. I believe there is no better way than to do that than on our knees seeking God’s direction for our country. If you are not from America, then I encourage you to do the same for your country. After all, it matters not where we are from, we all need God’s presence and direction in our lives and for our nations. He loves us all!

Science and Christianity

To become a Christian, do you need to throw away your mind & ignore the findings of science? Au contraire!

 
One of my five (yes, five!) majors as an undergraduate was biology. As a biology student who was also a Christian, I struggled with how to reconcile the theory of evolution with my faith. I knew Christians who felt strongly that evolution was contrary to Christianity, but in biology, evolution was the foundation upon which classes were taught. I wanted to stay true to my faith but was unsure how to reconcile this apparent contradiction. The symbols in the picture in this post testify to the hostility between some who hold these “opposing viewpoints”, and represent a sort of warfare mentality of the relationship of science to faith.

For me, probably the thing that bothered me most was the link, at least in my mind, between evolutionary science and naturalism, a concept adopted by many atheists. Naturalism denies the existence of God and teaches that only natural laws and forces (as opposed to supernatural ones) operate in the world and that nothing exists beyond the natural world; life is solely the product of random forces guided by no one (i.e., accidental). I read articles explaining the “evolutionary basis for morality” and “religion as a natural phenomenon”. In a nutshell, they argued that morality and belief in God exists simply because they helped our ancestors adapt to their environments and survive, and not because they are true. In effect, the things our brain tells us about God, morality, and even love and beauty are not real, but merely a set of chemical reactions which only have the purpose of passing on our genetic code (i.e., natural selection).

These assumptions seem reasonable at face value, which only intensified my quandary as an undergraduate biology student who was also a Christian.

My journey on this road was long, but for the sake of brevity I will summarize my view by citing from “The Reason for God” by Tim Keller, who addressed this topic as well as any I have ever heard. Here is a synopsis of his argument:

If we can't trust our brains to tell us the truth about God, as naturalism suggests, then why should we trust our brains in any area, including to tell us the truth about any scientific theory (including evolution)? For that matter, how certain can we be in our ability to apply reason to anything at all? Indeed, reason itself can have no power if it is only a product of natural selection. Charles Darwin himself saw this major vulnerability, writing “the horrid doubt always arises whether the convictions of man’s mind, which has been developed from the mind of the lower animals, are of any value or at all trustworthy” (1). If our brains are products of random, unguided evolution, then it is as likely we live in a sort of dream world as that we actually know something about ourselves and our world (2). It is disingenuous for naturalists to apply the scalpel of their skepticism to what our minds tell us about God, but not to what our minds tell us about naturalism itself. Conversely, if we believe God exists, then our view of the universe gives us a basis for believing that cognitive faculties work, since God could make us able to form true beliefs and knowledge. Also, if God exists, our intuitions about the meaningfulness of beauty and love are to be expected. If you don't believe in God then these things are profoundly inexplicable. When evolution is turned into an All-encompassing Theory explaining absolutely everything we believe, feel, and do as the product of random forces through natural selection, then we are not in the arena of science, but of philosophy, and it has insurmountable difficulties as a worldview.

You may be wondering what my position is on this topic after all my wrestling. I believe that scientific thought can be compatible with religious belief, which is important since I am a scientist! Many Christians do not believe the theory of evolution; after all, it is only theory. But many Christians do accept evolutionary theory, although in the sense that God created life with purpose and evolutionary processes do exist. Since Christians have differing viewpoints on evolutionary theory, skeptical inquirers do not need to accept one of these positions in order to embrace the Christian faith. Rather they should concentrate on and weigh the central claims of Christianity such as the person of Christ and the resurrection.

There is much more to say about this but I have already gone long. As always, I am interested in your thoughts on this, whether you agree or disagree. Please feel free to share your thoughtful comments!

(1) Charles Darwin, Letter to W. Graham, 1881, The life and letters of Charles Darwin: including an autobiographical chapter;  (2) Alvin Plantinga, "Is Naturalism Irrational?" in Warrant and Proper Function (Oxford University Press, 2000), p. 218.

What is Truth?

Relativism says the only absolute truth is that there is no absolute truth. Is that logical?

What is truth? Pontius Pilate asked Jesus Christ that question (1) right before he sentenced Christ to be executed. I always thought Pilate's question was ironic, because Pilate was asking a man who himself claimed to be the Truth (2).

Secularism has something to say about truth too. Namely, the truth of the matter is there is no way to know the Truth. Isn’t there a contradiction in that statement? More on that later…

Secularists (a.k.a. relativists) believe that what people believe as truth is strictly a result of the social environment in which they were raised, or “conditioned”. Therefore, the truth is relative according to one’s own conditioning and no one should claim they can know the Truth. Relativists argue that no one can judge whether one assertion about spiritual and moral reality is truer than another.

Timothy Keller, in his book entitled “The Reason for God”, pointed out that there is a significant problem (contradiction) with this view. Specifically, when relativists insist that no one can determine which beliefs are right and wrong, they are in fact making a comprehensive claim about everyone that they presume to be "true." When relativists state that no belief can be held universally true for everyone, they are ironically claiming that their (the relativists) belief is universally true for everyone! In other words, all beliefs except theirs are relative. The relativists claim to know an absolute truth...that all truth is relative. The contradiction (if it isn’t obvious) is that to make that claim, relativists have to exempt themselves from their own statement (that there is no way to know the truth) to make their statement true. But by what (or whose) authority do they make their claim, and why should we believe them any more than anyone else?

These topics make my head spin, but they are important and many people struggle with them in this age. Yes, our cultural biases make weighing competing truth-claims difficult. But we all make truth-claims, including relativists, and therefore we have no alternative but to try to evaluate them responsibly.

What are your thoughts about Truth? Is it knowable? Even if it is, does it matter? Is it worth pursuing? I believe it is. As a Christian, I believe we can know the Truth because the object of my faith (Jesus) assured us that we can know the truth and it will set us free (3). A long time ago I read and believed the words of Jesus (who claimed to be the Truth), who said seek and you will find (4). Does that sound like an invitation? It is! I accepted his invitation and have never looked back.

(1) John 18:38; (2) John 14:6; (3) John 8:32; (4) Matthew 7:7-8.

The Decline of the Secular University

Secularism hasn't had to explain itself for several generations and has become as muddled as religion was when it was simply dominant. 
C. John Sommerville

I recently read a book entitled "The Decline of the Secular University", which in part motivated me to start this blog. In it, the author (C. John Sommerville) takes on the secularism that has infiltrated universities in the last century. Secularism, which is an ideology in itself, has attempted to eliminate religion from the classroom. In doing so, however, Sommerville argues that universities have in a sense marginalized themselves in the eye of the public. True, science and technology have vastly improved our lives in many ways including in the areas of medicine, agriculture, etc. But he is talking about topics more fundamental that we all grapple with such as hope, trust, purpose, and wisdom. Because of the universities adherence to secularism, they even have trouble defining important topics such as justice, truth, the human, and the humane, because those topics all have inherent religious dimensions.

In his book, Sommerville quoted Chancellor Francis Snow, an entomologist at the University of Kansas (I won't hold that against him!), who believed that "the university should train body and spirit as well as mind and could do this by fostering an atmosphere conducive to spiritual development". I was surprised to hear that universities used to have a more overtly religious core that, along with learning, also included chapel as a place for obtaining vision and contemplation towards intellectual creativity; time in the chapel was considered perhaps as important as time in the lab! Michael Polanyi, a British chemist and academic, stated that science, mathematics, the arts, and religion all have a role in maintaining wonder and not just explaining it. Universities, however, have too easily assumed that their job was to dispel wonder. I touched on that topic in an earlier blog (Do I Really Matter?).

Secular rationalism itself is not a neutral, absolute position that rises above all faith commitments. Rather, it is a worldview among many. Unfortunately, universities have not been teaching about secularism in the sense that it is one view among many, but instead have been teaching secularism in the sense of indoctrination and requiring adoption of its assumptions (such as relativism...there are no absolute "truths"). Sommerville is not arguing that the university should be ruled by religion, but he does argue (and I agree) that universities not be officially secularist in the sense that religion is ruled out. He envisions universities whose goal is not to impose a privileged viewpoint (such as secularism currently is), but to understand, or at least give a voice to, all viewpoints that are able to win a hearing. Universities, by disdaining the standards of thought by students and the public (such as religion), may face increasing opposition including stingy funding and skepticism about various causes considered urgent by universities.

So what do you think? Has secularism ran its course? Has it resulted in a general decline in the authority and effectiveness of universities in the eye of the public? Should silenced voices be invited back into the classroom? If so, what would that look like?

God Romances You!

The other evening my wife Jannis and I were walking by a farm pond near our home and we heard the sounds of frogs (on the youtube video at left, or click: http://youtu.be/pN7RUy95N5c). As I listened to the melodious harmony I remembered reading in a book entitled "The Sacred Romance", by John Eldredge and Brent Curtis, about how cool it is that God often uses nature to romance us. Isn't is a wonder that bird songs (and frog melodies) are not so loud that they hurt our ears, or so soft that we cannot hear them, or so nasty sounding that they repulse us or make us feel like someone is scratching their fingernails across a chalkboard. Have you noticed a beautiful sunset lately? Or perhaps a panoramic view of green trees and rolling meadows or prairie, towering mountains, rhythmic waves at the beach, the delicateness of a flower, or grace of an animal running free in the wild? Perhaps humor or affection from your pet!? Brilliant stars or a bright moon in the night sky? Has God spoken to you today? Perhaps he did and you missed it? I encourage you to watch and listen for him today. He specializes in romancing you, wooing you through his creation!

The Great Rescue

What has your experience with the church been like? Speaking from my own experience, much of what I heard coming from the pulpit has been, of sorts, in the form of negative persuasion. For example, I often heard: "You are a sinner and have rebelled against God. Therefore, you must turn from your selfish ways and acknowledge your sin to God, to prevent spending eternity in hell". While I won't argue about the technical accuracy from a theological standpoint, I always struggled with some aspects that seemed inherent in that statement. First of all, "rebelled" is such a proactive term, and I didn't feel like I was in active rebellion against God. Sure, I knew I wasn't perfect, but I wasn't exactly shaking my fist at God in anger either. Second, it painted a picture of a God who was angry with me and who seemed harsh and demanding. It seemed like he wanted me to cry "uncle" and then, apparently, to start towing the line by walking a straight and narrow (straight-laced?) life. The part about hell sounded threatening, which made God seem all the more harsh. The truth was that while I didn't want to go to hell when I died, the idea of being a Christian didn't sound like that much fun either. For example, it seemed like God's condemnation of sin was a condemnation of anything that was fun. Somehow I interpreted the condemnation of "selfish desires" as a condemnation of any desire even if it was good. Billy Joel had a song back in the 70's that said "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun". Although I didn't like the overall message of that song, it seemed like there was some truth to that line, at least in what I could see in the church. It seemed like if I wanted to go to heaven, I would have to live a rigid, almost joyless life...a kind of self-imposed moral straight jacket.

But mine was a narrow and incomplete view of the Gospel. Sadly, it veiled so much of what is beautiful and stunning about the true nature of God. So what would a positive persuasion presentation of the Gospel be like?

I am no theologian, but I invite you to try a visualization experiment (no, it does not use the scientific method!). If you will, find a quiet place, still your thoughts, and allow your mind to release any negative, harsh preconceptions about God, or any oppressive religious dogma you may have heard. If you don't believe in God, allow yourself for just a moment to imagine there is a God as I briefly describe him here (although my description is woefully inadequate...a whole book has been written about him that describes him much better...the Bible). First, consider that out of nowhere and out of nothing, he chose to make you (1). That seems like a good thing, right? Then try to imagine what pure love would feel like, love that is directed towards YOU, that comes to you and and is totally unconditional...it doesn't matter what you have or have not done (2). Imagining that kind of love may seem difficult, but it seems worthwhile to try. Pure, radiant light that pierces the darkness (3). A sense that you are surrounded by tender compassion that gently heals your wounds and the hurt and broken places inside you (4, 5), like a mother who calms her child when they hurt (6). A God who is totally good (7), who is brimming with unlimited power and able to fight to protect you (8). One whom you can trust completely, who knows everything about you and who is closer to you than your own thoughts! (9) A marvelous Creator who made a whole world for you for adventure, to explore in wonder and delight...and who delights in seeing you so filled with wonder and delight (10, 11). That is a glimpse of what God is really like, and what you were made for.

But Christianity also teaches that something has gone wrong in our world. C.S. Lewis, prominent scholar and academic of the 20th century, wrote in his book Mere Christianity: "One of the things that surprised me when I first read the New Testament seriously was that it talked so much about a Dark Power in the universe - a mighty evil spirit who was held to be the Power behind death and disease, and sin...Christianity thinks that this Dark Power was created by God, and was good when he was created, and went wrong." Later in the same chapter, entitled The Invasion, Lewis continued: "Enemy-occupied territory - that is what the world is. Christianity is the story of how the rightful king [Jesus] has landed, you might say landed in disguise, and is calling us all to take part in a great campaign of sabotage." Before you dismiss me (Dale) as crazy, and lest you miss the point of this particular blog post, please bear with me a little longer; all of these things above are clearly described in the Scriptures (my statements within the text here are linked to them and referenced at the bottom of this post - perhaps you thought the Bible was boring?!). The Scriptures teach that this dark power viciously expends its efforts to steal and destroy all the good things from you that were described above (and then some) (12, 13).

The Great Rescue is the incredible story of the One who made you, coming for you, to rescue you from this evil Dark Power. God isn't standing in heaven with his hands on his hips, tapping his gigantic foot, and ready to throw anybody into hell who doesn't soon give in to his demands. He intervened in a world in which humanity had also gone wrong, way back at the dawn of time, and were left hopelessly under the dominion of this Dark Power; that is the state of the world into which we were born. By coming for us, he has rekindled the thrill of hope of restoration into His Kingdom. Jesus said that he came into the world not to condemn it, for it was condemned already. Rather, he came into the world to save and restore it (14). And the bottom line is that any of us can be rescued. We just have to want it enough to ask God for it (15). To acknowledge that we need rescued, that something is desperately wrong in our lives and we want it to be right again. That is where the "acknowledge your sin" comes from, mentioned earlier in this post. But repentance isn't simply crying "uncle" to God. Rather it is a beautiful act that allows God to forgive you and, in his eyes, erase all the accusations against you from shame, guilt, lies, harm you have done to others, etc. (16) Only then can the process of healing and restoration begin, and it is a process - an exciting process. He breaks the hold the Dark Power has had over you and sets you free to live a life with him (17). But God also honors our individual wills enough not to impose himself into our lives. He only comes if we ask (18).

If all of this sounds far fetched, keep in mind that millions of people throughout history have believed it, and many believed it enough that they felt it was worth dying for (starting with Jesus Christ). There is something powerful about this message. I encourage you to look into it. You don't have much to lose, and absolutely everything to gain!

Note: Since I am a scientist, I felt it was necessary to back up my descriptions above with citations to the original source. The links in the text above to biblegateway.com go to the following verses:  (1) Ephesians 1:4;  (2) 1 John 4:7-18; (3) John 8:12; (4) Psalm 86:15; (5) Psalm 34:18; (6) Psalm 131:2; (7) Psalm 100:5; (8) Exodus 15:3-13; (9) Psalm 139:1-18; (10) Genesis 1:27-31; (11) Zephaniah 3:17; (12) John 8:44; (13) John 10:10; (14) John 3:17-18; (15) Romans 10:13; (16) Romans 8:1; (17) Colossians 1:13; (18) Revelation 3:20

You Are Beautiful

Just a quick post to share a song with you that really helped me get through this week. It is called "You're Beautiful", and below are its lyrics along with a link to youtube where you can listen to the song yourself if you like. As you read or listen to the lyrics, let the words sink in and ask yourself what it would mean if they were really true.

Christianity teaches that these words ARE true! Has this been your understanding about how God thinks of us? I have to confess that until a few years ago, I didn't comprehend it. But it is a BEAUTIFUL thing to realize now!  Enjoy...

Listen to song on youtube by clicking on the link below (or here: https://youtu.be/7C2o0jHNRuU).

You're Beautiful (by MercyMe)
Days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart, they'd see too much

You're Beautiful
You're Beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're Beautiful
You're Beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're Beautiful

I'm praying that you have the heart to fight
"Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
They are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're Beautiful
You're Beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're Beautiful
You're Beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're Beautiful.

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves ENOUGH TO DIE!!

You're Beautiful
You're Beautiful in His eyes

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
You are meant for so much more than all of this
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're Beautiful

You're Beautiful
You are meant for so much more than all of this
You're Beautiful
You're Beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His

Restoration, not Religion

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

Blaise Pascal

Does religion hold the answers to life's questions? Religion is a term that undoubtedly has different meanings for different people. While many would emphasize its strengths and others its weaknesses, few could argue that religion does not have some negative connotations associated with it. To many, religion is a list of things you should do (like attend church regularly) and shouldn't do (like cuss, drink, or smoke). To be accepted and respected within a religion it seems you must live under their laws, which can be oppressive. Wars are fought over and injustices committed in the name of religion. Perhaps its no wonder the institution of the university in America has gone secular and restricted the voice of religion on its campuses. But in doing so have they thrown the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak?

Speaking from a perspective of Christianity, some may be surprised that Jesus Christ's sharpest criticisms were towards the leaders of the religious establishment. He criticized them because they were smug, self righteous, and badly misrepresented God in the name of God. Consequently, the religious leaders hated Jesus! Interestingly, the people who were most attracted to Jesus were the "irreligious", who, yes, probably cussed, drank, etc. Why? What did they see in him? He didn't endorse but in fact, often challenged their lifestyles.

They loved Jesus because his words resonated with them. They could sense his message was truth, but he spoke with a grace and love that they had never heard from any other "religious teacher" (not that any other religious teachers would have been caught dead in the presence of such "sinners"). Jesus taught that he came to seek and to save that which was lost. And all of them, as with all of us, had lost something precious. Jesus' message was one of RESTORATION, and not more oppressive rules.  And he backed it up by restoring sight to the blind, hearing to the deaf, mobility to the paralyzed, mental health to the mentally ill, and even raising people from the dead. His message was very personal to everyone he touched, and his message continues to be personal today to each person he touches.

Personally, I am interested in something life-giving rather than something that sucks life out of me. Is there something or someone that can take away the anguish of regret, guilt, shame, etc. and replace it with a genuine, deep down in our souls kind of hope, peace, and joy? This is a glimpse of the RESTORATION of life as it was meant to be. If your experience with or impression about the "religion" of Christianity has been negative, I challenge you not to cast your final judgement on Jesus until you take a little time to learn more about this amazing person (for example, by clicking on the links in this post). I think you will be not only pleasantly surprised, but may even find the revelation of the real Jesus to be life-changing. He has that effect on people,..yes, even those in the secular university!

Longings and Desires

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.  C.S. Lewis

Photo by Louchiere Matthews (used with permission).

The dictionary defines longing as: "a strong desire especially for something unattainable or distant: for example, to be filled with longing for home." Most of us have certain longings in common...longings such as a desire to love and be loved; a desire for companionship; a desire to live...REALLY live and experience life and not simply exist, a desire to be happy and filled with joy, a desire that our life and the lives of those we love not be snuffed out by death. Where do these longings come from? But there is another part of the definition that doesn't sound so good, that is "something unattainable or distant". Why do our longings for good things so often seem  unattainable? Why is there a general sense of predicament, of something having gone wrong?

C.S. Lewis, a prominent academic scholar and Christian writer, was an avowed atheist until the age of 32. He was influenced by, among others, a fellow scholar and friend named J.R.R. Tolkien (author of Lord of the Rings trilogy) who explained his belief that the longings and desires of man (such as those mentioned above) are implanted by his Creator. Tolkien also explained that the story of the Gospel, which he believed was true, begins and ends in joy. Namely, the Birth and Resurrection of Christ. For those of you not familiar with the story of the Gospel, it tells the "good news" of the Incarnation (Christ as both fully God and fully human). Although there were plenty of hardships in the life of Christ, in the end He defeated one of our greatest enemies...death. IF this is true (which I and countless others believe it is), then it offers profound hope that there can be a happy ending to our story too, and that our deepest longings will one day be fulfilled!

We are now in the Easter season 2011. I challenge you to take 5 minutes and read and consider the first 10 verses in the 28th chapter of Matthew in the Bible, which is the stunning story of the Resurrection of Christ on the third day after his torture and death. See whether this brings a tingle of hope and joy simply at the prospect that it may be true. I cannot even begin to describe the incredible joy I feel when I read this story! Truly, the Gospel is the source of my finding meaning and purpose, not only at the university, but in my life!

Do I Really Matter?

Biology class took away the wonder I had about our world by implying it all came about by accident. If that is true, there is no purpose for our lives.

Early in my university experience I began to struggle with a sense that nothing really mattered. In biology and other classes I learned that by coincidence, conditions on Earth just happened to be right for life to begin, that lightning happened to hit the "primordial soup", and consequently, life happened to begin (or something like that). Apparently, even though the chances of life beginning here were infinitesimally small, it was likely to happen somewhere because of the vastness of the universe. Oh, by the way, the vastness of the universe also provided evidence that the Earth, and consequently humanity (which included me), was very small in the big scheme of things. In other words, there was a sense that in the end, neither I nor anybody else really mattered. How could we? We rose by accident out of the primordial soup, live for awhile and then we die. End of story.

This all was taught as fact in biology class. What I wasn't taught was that this is really just a secular "worldview", which really has serious issues of its own (more that in later posts, such as Science and Christianity, Leap of Faith, Decline of the Secular University). In a sense, I was betrayed by putting my trust in the secular university to teach me about our fascinating world.

When I was young I marveled at the beauty and complexity of this incredible universe and the life it contained. I was excited and wanted to learn more about it...to explore it! I believed in God but somehow that didn't overcome the underlying sense of futility that seemed present in science classes. I knew vaguely that some of the great scientists like Newton, Galileo, and Pascal were men of faith, but even that was explained away by reasoning that they lived in older times and therefore, were naive because they hadn't been exposed to more recent scientific discoveries (like Darwin's explanation about the origins of species). Archeologists also reported that the ancients invented gods in attempts to find meaning and purpose in their lives, which implied that ANY belief in God was a figment of our imaginations. In essence, it seemed science taught that for one to believe in God was akin to believing in a fairy tale.

It is not my purpose here to diss on the university. After all, I enjoy working there now! I am only telling my story about how I struggled at the university to find meaning and purpose because of what was being taught or implied in the science classes I took. Suffice it to say that I am glad that I didn't give in to despair. There was more to my story, but that is for another day. What about yours? Does any of this seem familiar or am I an anomaly (okay, I may be an anomaly in some ways but surely others have felt SOME of the things I have???)