Early in my university experience I began to struggle with a sense that nothing really mattered. In biology and other classes I learned that by coincidence, conditions on Earth just happened to be right for life to begin, that lightning happened to hit the "primordial soup", and consequently, life happened to begin (or something like that). Apparently, even though the chances of life beginning here were infinitesimally small, it was likely to happen somewhere because of the vastness of the universe. Oh, by the way, the vastness of the universe also provided evidence that the Earth, and consequently humanity (which included me), was very small in the big scheme of things. In other words, there was a sense that in the end, neither I nor anybody else really mattered. How could we? We rose by accident out of the primordial soup, live for awhile and then we die. End of story.
This all was taught as fact in biology class. What I wasn't taught was that this is really just a secular "worldview", which really has serious issues of its own (more that in later posts, such as Science and Christianity, Leap of Faith, Decline of the Secular University). In a sense, I was betrayed by putting my trust in the secular university to teach me about our fascinating world.
When I was young I marveled at the beauty and complexity of this incredible universe and the life it contained. I was excited and wanted to learn more about it...to explore it! I believed in God but somehow that didn't overcome the underlying sense of futility that seemed present in science classes. I knew vaguely that some of the great scientists like Newton, Galileo, and Pascal were men of faith, but even that was explained away by reasoning that they lived in older times and therefore, were naive because they hadn't been exposed to more recent scientific discoveries (like Darwin's explanation about the origins of species). Archeologists also reported that the ancients invented gods in attempts to find meaning and purpose in their lives, which implied that ANY belief in God was a figment of our imaginations. In essence, it seemed science taught that for one to believe in God was akin to believing in a fairy tale.
It is not my purpose here to diss on the university. After all, I enjoy working there now! I am only telling my story about how I struggled at the university to find meaning and purpose because of what was being taught or implied in the science classes I took. Suffice it to say that I am glad that I didn't give in to despair. There was more to my story, but that is for another day. What about yours? Does any of this seem familiar or am I an anomaly (okay, I may be an anomaly in some ways but surely others have felt SOME of the things I have???)
I definitely also soaked up those messages of insignificance. For young people of immature faith (like I was) it can be crushing, because science has god-like status in our culture. It doesn't help that many science teachers (not all) either ridicule faith or require that the student "check it at the door". Why is that? As you point out, Newton, Galileo, Pascal and others made incredible scientific achievements without checking their faith at the door.
ReplyDeleteI guess I've never had any major feelings of 'do I really matter?' I've always been amazed, in awe, at how complex and how perfectly balanced life is on earth. A few more miles closer or farther from the sun, and life wouldn't exist. And how vastand beautiful the universe is...it is impossible to imagine that all of thiscould have been created without the planning of a higher power. It is simply amazing.
ReplyDeleteIn high school biology (at a private school) we were presented with the "arguments" for creation and evolution. Once I got to my first biology class at the university I remember walking out of a few of the lectures feeling like I had been slapped on the face. Personally, I struggle to look at the complexity of the human body and the beauty in nature without seeing intention. My body is made of ~60 trillion cells. There are at least 200 different types of cells, most with specialized functions. Amazing.
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