Let Mercy Come

"So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done"
                    Linkin Park

Regrets
The 2007 song by Linkin Park, "What I've Done", is another example of how popular music reflects a broken humanity (listen below or click the following link to listen on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8sgycukafqQ). This song stunningly describes a desperate need that, although not acknowledged in the song, is answered directly by Christianity. (1)

 

Who among us doesn't have regrets for things we've done? The thing is, how do we cope with them? Especially if they have resulted in shame, anxiety, depression, despair, hopelessness, etc. 
Haunted by the Past
Many years ago I watched a PBS special about a man who had served in the Chinese Army during the Cultural Revolution. As a young soldier he was impressionable and wanted to please his "superiors" (commanding officers); perhaps he also feared what would happen to him if he didn't carry out their orders. Although he inherently knew it was wrong, he apparently had executed and possibly even tortured people. Now, many years later, the horrific images of what he had done were tormenting him. No matter what he tried, he couldn't shake the regrets of the past, and his life was shattered. 

Forgive Myself
The song by Linkin Park takes a stab at what we should do:

"I'll face myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done!!!"

The song acknowledges that "sins" from the past must be faced and dealt with. But consider this statement from a person trying to cope with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)(2).

"I was wrong, even though it's over.....the shame.....it is so deep, so embedded. ...[nothing] will ever change the fact that I did it. Oh geeze, why would I go against my most fundamental beliefs? How can I ever forgive myself? How can I live with myself? As hard as I work at overcoming.......that shame will never disappear."

Pain doesn't have to come from PTSD to make forgiveness of oneself impossible. Consider this excerpt from another, older popular song (Careless Whispers, by George Michaels) about regret from being unfaithful to a lover:

Time can never mend
Guilty feelings...
Though it's easy to pretend
And to the heart and mind,
Ignorance is kind.
There's no comfort in the truth,
Pain is the home you'll find.

I applaud Linkin Park for recognizing a deep-seated need in the human soul to be forgiven, to cleanse ourselves from the "sins" of our past. But their solution, while on the right track, falls very short. Simply trying to forgive myself by the power of my own will may the best our post-modern, secular world has to offer, but true forgiveness requires much more. Hear how an old saint describes what typically happens when we try to accomplish something like this by using our own strength:

What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise...I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it...My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? (3) 

He Took the Punishment that Made Us Whole
We are entering Passion Week, depicting the entrance of Jesus Christ into Jerusalem and his subsequent torture, crucifixion, and resurrection from the dead. The events of that week are powerfully described in chapters 18-20 of the book of John; I urge you to read it!

But to make a long story short, the cost of our forgiveness is high, much greater than we can muster through our own strength. Receiving forgiveness requires a power from beyond ourselves. That is why the crucifixion of Christ is so crucial to Christianity, because it represents true payment and the ONLY way to find relief from and forgiveness for our sins. Seven hundred years before Christ, the prophet Isaiah foretold what would be accomplished by Jesus on the cross:

Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted. 
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all. (4)

We are promised that if we accept his sacrifice on our behalf, we are no longer condemned; we are forgiven! That is what the blood of Christ accomplished, and it is the only form of forgiveness that can give you real peace. Here is how it is described:

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death. (5)

If you feel the need for forgiveness, it is available to you. Why not accept the only forgiveness that is genuine, deep, healing, and everlasting? 

Footnotes:

(1)  Although images in the video seem to address the sins of humanity, the lyrics of the song seem to address personal sins and regrets of an individual.
(2) Excerpt from online discussion forum entitled: Can't Forgive Myself:
https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/cant-forgive-myself.15177/
(3)  Excerpted from Romans 7:15-24 (Message); the old saint is the Apostle Paul.
(4) Isaiah 53:4-6.
(5) Romans 8:1-2.